After suffering 48 hours of unrelenting heat with the stupid AE stockings on(our hospitals have no air conditioning and it was a stinking hot August) and not been allowed out of bed or to wash my hair, I finished the last bottle of the super duper expense tocolytic med on the Tuesday midday. At about 2pm I noticed a slight pulling in my abdomen and after it happened for the third time in less than 20 minutes I called a nurse and told her. Hey ho next thing I knew I was being wheeled for the umpteenth time down the corridor to the labour unit to be hooked up to the monitors. This time I stayed on the unit. By the time Z came from work at 5pm I was back on the terbutaline and having full on contractions. By 6pm the neonatologist had been in to see us, 60% chance of survival with high risk of disability/brain damage, as had the anaesthetist to prep for an emergency c-section.
The consultant obstetrician who I liked and trusted was not in, instead the chief of Gynaecology was on call and would have done the c-section that night. After discussing it with him and between ourselves we decided to wait until morning as
a) then the doctor we liked and trusted doing the operation
b) perhaps the drugs would kick in and the labour could be stopped
c) the girls were monitored and according to the monitors were stable (most important) we wanted to give them as much time in situ as possible.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, it was a horrendous night as I bled heavily the whole night, the contractions were unrelenting (I know it was probably only a taste of what real childbirth is like, but believe me it was enough!) and if we'd let him operate on the Tuesday night Enya may have had an easier start. On the other hand they had warning that there were micropreemie twins on the list for the next morning which meant they could prepare and get two experienced neonatologists there for the delivery.
In any even this was the worst night of my life and lead to a period of my life that, looking back, I don't know how I got through it. It changed me and still is changing me. I don't think anyone can understand what it is like to live through NICU with a micropreemie/critically ill baby unless they have been there. I would not wish it on my worst enemy, no one should have to live through that. Even writing about it has got my heart racing and my fingers trembling.
Enough of the past now, looking forward. The birthday cake is baked, the decorations are hung, now we just have to hope for good weather so we can enjoy the party outside. We're supposed to be having a BBQ and the forecast is not good!
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
12 Aug 2008
A year ago today continued.....
It was weird. This morning at 6am Ciara started screaming although she still had her dummy in her mouth. She wanted out her bed, she quietened as soon as I entered but everytime I tried to leave she started screaming again.
A year ago at 6am I was being wheeled into the OT for an emergency cerclage as during the night I'd had heavy bleeding and the the news from the US exam was not good (bulging of the membranes into the upper cervix). I don't remember much of the day as I was on tocolytics and didn't react well to them, they landed up putting me on the super expensive reserve meds as they thought I had an allergic reaction to the terbutaline. I think I reacted to them flushing through a megadose of terbutaline when they put the antibiotics through the same IV line!
Enya's tooth is finally through although she doesn't allow us to inspect her pride and joy, unlike Ciara. We started playing with toothbrushes yesterday, Enya allows us to brush her gums, Ciara grabs the brush and then puts it backwards in her mouth. As I was at the dentist anyway yesterday I had a chat about when and how we go about intro to teeth cleaning. Her recommendaton was let them play with the toothbrush, chewing on the brush is also going to have a cleaning effect. When the teeth are properly through the gum start with a drop of toothpaste on the brush as the floride in the toothpaste will help their teeth but they will swallow it (babies can't spit out) so restrict the amount on the toothbrush.
A year ago at 6am I was being wheeled into the OT for an emergency cerclage as during the night I'd had heavy bleeding and the the news from the US exam was not good (bulging of the membranes into the upper cervix). I don't remember much of the day as I was on tocolytics and didn't react well to them, they landed up putting me on the super expensive reserve meds as they thought I had an allergic reaction to the terbutaline. I think I reacted to them flushing through a megadose of terbutaline when they put the antibiotics through the same IV line!
Enya's tooth is finally through although she doesn't allow us to inspect her pride and joy, unlike Ciara. We started playing with toothbrushes yesterday, Enya allows us to brush her gums, Ciara grabs the brush and then puts it backwards in her mouth. As I was at the dentist anyway yesterday I had a chat about when and how we go about intro to teeth cleaning. Her recommendaton was let them play with the toothbrush, chewing on the brush is also going to have a cleaning effect. When the teeth are properly through the gum start with a drop of toothpaste on the brush as the floride in the toothpaste will help their teeth but they will swallow it (babies can't spit out) so restrict the amount on the toothbrush.
10 Aug 2008
A year ago today.....
I was 24 weeks pregnant and lying in hospital, hoping beyond all hope that we would get at least another 4 weeks before the girls came.
We'd had a ultrasound 3 days before and everything had looked fine, although the girls were small the doctors were pleased with the placental function and confirmed we were having 2 girls. They didn't check my cervix as they didn't want to risk introducing an infection, and I wonder now if they had if maybe they could have done something. When I was admitted to hospital that Thursday night, I was 2cm dilated and they ascribed the bleeding due to the dilation.
Right now I'm gearing up for the girls birthday and it will be a happy day but I'm finding the lead up difficult. All the what ifs and what could have beens...
We got the reports from the last neurodevelopmental follow up and for once they were IMO relatively accurate. I was criticized for putting too much pressure on myself to ensure Enya drank enough, but I knew that was coming. Ciara now is described as only having mild tone and coordination problems although Enya is astonishingly still classed as at risk of cerebral palsy! I think if we had the appointment tomorrow we would get a completely different description as Enya is now doing everything Ciara was at that time and more!
I'm off to go and organise my new bookcases now and enjoy the Olympic Games so I wish you all a restful Sunday
We'd had a ultrasound 3 days before and everything had looked fine, although the girls were small the doctors were pleased with the placental function and confirmed we were having 2 girls. They didn't check my cervix as they didn't want to risk introducing an infection, and I wonder now if they had if maybe they could have done something. When I was admitted to hospital that Thursday night, I was 2cm dilated and they ascribed the bleeding due to the dilation.
Right now I'm gearing up for the girls birthday and it will be a happy day but I'm finding the lead up difficult. All the what ifs and what could have beens...
We got the reports from the last neurodevelopmental follow up and for once they were IMO relatively accurate. I was criticized for putting too much pressure on myself to ensure Enya drank enough, but I knew that was coming. Ciara now is described as only having mild tone and coordination problems although Enya is astonishingly still classed as at risk of cerebral palsy! I think if we had the appointment tomorrow we would get a completely different description as Enya is now doing everything Ciara was at that time and more!
I'm off to go and organise my new bookcases now and enjoy the Olympic Games so I wish you all a restful Sunday
18 Feb 2008
History 101..part four
This is getting really long winded, but then it was a really busy 6 months. So where was I? Hmmm.. October.. getting too good..transfer to the Kinderklinik (Childrens' hospital).
We were transferred to the ICU in the Childrens' hospital and hated it. It was a huge change from the intimate unit where we'd been before, where we knew all the staff and the doctors were always available and would very often update us personally when we arrived. The ICU was large, loud and inpersonal. I very often used to arrive and not see the nurse responsible for our room for an hour or two. What I found most frustrating was that it often took a while (5 minutes? or so it seemed) to respond to desat alarms (bradycardia alarms were always reacted to immediately although by this time they were very rare). It is incredibly hard to stand by while your child's sats are sitting in the 60's and no one is reacting. In their defence the nurses admitted they are vastly understaffed in the ICU and requested that we put in a complaint as they say that is the only way to get the staffing levels increased. Our girls used to delight in taking it in turns as soon as one's sats reached 85% the other's would drop- it was not for nothing they were called the Bimmel princesses (bimmel=german slang for the sounds made by the monitor alarms).
Around this time Enya had another Echo (cardiac ultrasound) which showed....the PDA was gone!!!!!No operation required! Boy were we relieved!
However then the next problem began to get acute- both girls had ROP diagnosed in September (Retinopathy of Prematurity- where the blood vessels in the eyes grow too much and can grow into the len, in severe cases it can cause retinal detachment and blindness) but where Ciara remained stable at grade 2, Enya progressed in the direction of grade 3 where she would need lasering to destroy the new blood vessels. This meant once or twice weekly controls which were traumatic at the best of times and even more so when I landed up having to hold Enya's head still so the doctor could check her retinas (involved clamps to hold her eyes open and a probe to keep the eye still).
By the end of October they were both off the supplementary oxygen and a week later Ciara got rid of her NG tube and stopped getting caffeine to stimulate her breathing and cardiac control centre. She was no longer an intensive care patient!!
We were then transferred to the infants general ward in the middle of November and thought we could possibly be going home in the next few weeks until...
Enya needed lasering on her eyes. It was done in Essen about 2 hours away from the city we live in and involved an incubator ambulance transport and a 3 day stay in Essen (we got to stay in the Ronald McDonald House there- what a fantastic idea that is, it is only when you need it that you understand what a relief it is to have such a facility available). We thought we were just going for a control/second opinion as our eye doctor was on holiday for 3 weeks. When we got there the professor took a careful look at Enya's eyes and said she would be first on the list for lasering the next day. Gulp! Okay off to the PICU with Enya. The lasering went really well and Enya came off the ventilator without any problems so that worked out positive, she just needed eyedrops to dilate her pupils and hydrocortisone cream for her eyes for four weeks post op.
When we got back home it was to the question when would we like to take Ciara home, we had hoped we could take both girls home together but Ciara was ready for discharge where Enya still had her NG tube and was till needing Caffeine to stimulate her breathing centre. Ciara had actually been ready for discharge since the 26th of November (my original due date)but as we have no family in the area and no one who could look after Ciara if I went in to visit Enya we pushed for her to be allowed to remain longer. We didn't want to bring one girl home and land up having to neglect the other.
In the end we took Ciara home in the middle of December as my mother came out from England for 10 days to help and Mr Z got a months leave. We had to push but Enya ended up coming home just after christmas, despite still needing her twice daily dose of caffeine (she is the first baby they have ever discharged still on caffeine!!). They pulled her NG tube 2 days before discharge and although she was only barely managing her minimum daily amount of milk, the decision was made to discharge without a NG tube. Unfortunately there was no assessment of her feeding made and this has meant a great deal of stress for us in the last 7 weeks, we are still fighting everyday to make sure she drinks a minimum and she has continued to fall behind her sister weight wise (a post on feeding later). Enya also came home with a monitor that records her heart rate, breathing rate and saturations level as they feel she is a high risk baby- the monitor had been ordered long before they knew that she was going to be coming home still on caffeine.
I think that this is a fair summary of our time in hospital, just touching on the highlights!
Since then the girls have been back to the hospital for their weekly physio session (I get shown what to do with them for the next week) and for their RSV vaccination (Respiratory Syncitial Virus- can be fatal for premature babies) and will be going back lots more in the next few weeks for various checkups.
We were transferred to the ICU in the Childrens' hospital and hated it. It was a huge change from the intimate unit where we'd been before, where we knew all the staff and the doctors were always available and would very often update us personally when we arrived. The ICU was large, loud and inpersonal. I very often used to arrive and not see the nurse responsible for our room for an hour or two. What I found most frustrating was that it often took a while (5 minutes? or so it seemed) to respond to desat alarms (bradycardia alarms were always reacted to immediately although by this time they were very rare). It is incredibly hard to stand by while your child's sats are sitting in the 60's and no one is reacting. In their defence the nurses admitted they are vastly understaffed in the ICU and requested that we put in a complaint as they say that is the only way to get the staffing levels increased. Our girls used to delight in taking it in turns as soon as one's sats reached 85% the other's would drop- it was not for nothing they were called the Bimmel princesses (bimmel=german slang for the sounds made by the monitor alarms).
Around this time Enya had another Echo (cardiac ultrasound) which showed....the PDA was gone!!!!!No operation required! Boy were we relieved!
However then the next problem began to get acute- both girls had ROP diagnosed in September (Retinopathy of Prematurity- where the blood vessels in the eyes grow too much and can grow into the len, in severe cases it can cause retinal detachment and blindness) but where Ciara remained stable at grade 2, Enya progressed in the direction of grade 3 where she would need lasering to destroy the new blood vessels. This meant once or twice weekly controls which were traumatic at the best of times and even more so when I landed up having to hold Enya's head still so the doctor could check her retinas (involved clamps to hold her eyes open and a probe to keep the eye still).
By the end of October they were both off the supplementary oxygen and a week later Ciara got rid of her NG tube and stopped getting caffeine to stimulate her breathing and cardiac control centre. She was no longer an intensive care patient!!
We were then transferred to the infants general ward in the middle of November and thought we could possibly be going home in the next few weeks until...
Enya needed lasering on her eyes. It was done in Essen about 2 hours away from the city we live in and involved an incubator ambulance transport and a 3 day stay in Essen (we got to stay in the Ronald McDonald House there- what a fantastic idea that is, it is only when you need it that you understand what a relief it is to have such a facility available). We thought we were just going for a control/second opinion as our eye doctor was on holiday for 3 weeks. When we got there the professor took a careful look at Enya's eyes and said she would be first on the list for lasering the next day. Gulp! Okay off to the PICU with Enya. The lasering went really well and Enya came off the ventilator without any problems so that worked out positive, she just needed eyedrops to dilate her pupils and hydrocortisone cream for her eyes for four weeks post op.
When we got back home it was to the question when would we like to take Ciara home, we had hoped we could take both girls home together but Ciara was ready for discharge where Enya still had her NG tube and was till needing Caffeine to stimulate her breathing centre. Ciara had actually been ready for discharge since the 26th of November (my original due date)but as we have no family in the area and no one who could look after Ciara if I went in to visit Enya we pushed for her to be allowed to remain longer. We didn't want to bring one girl home and land up having to neglect the other.
In the end we took Ciara home in the middle of December as my mother came out from England for 10 days to help and Mr Z got a months leave. We had to push but Enya ended up coming home just after christmas, despite still needing her twice daily dose of caffeine (she is the first baby they have ever discharged still on caffeine!!). They pulled her NG tube 2 days before discharge and although she was only barely managing her minimum daily amount of milk, the decision was made to discharge without a NG tube. Unfortunately there was no assessment of her feeding made and this has meant a great deal of stress for us in the last 7 weeks, we are still fighting everyday to make sure she drinks a minimum and she has continued to fall behind her sister weight wise (a post on feeding later). Enya also came home with a monitor that records her heart rate, breathing rate and saturations level as they feel she is a high risk baby- the monitor had been ordered long before they knew that she was going to be coming home still on caffeine.
I think that this is a fair summary of our time in hospital, just touching on the highlights!
Since then the girls have been back to the hospital for their weekly physio session (I get shown what to do with them for the next week) and for their RSV vaccination (Respiratory Syncitial Virus- can be fatal for premature babies) and will be going back lots more in the next few weeks for various checkups.
14 Feb 2008
History 101..part three
The time in hospital seemed to last forever. We started off in a small NICU in the hospital where I had the CS, although small this unit handled all the preemies born under 28 weeks in our region of Germany, so very specialisied. For the majority of our 8 and a half weeks there we were the sickest (and smallest) babies there.
On the third day we got faced with a good news ,bad news situation. Good news: Enya was no longer being ventilated, she'd progressed onto CPAP. Bad news: she had been unstable overnight with high blood sugars needing insulin and variable blood pressure, due to this they had done a head ultrasound and she'd had a grade 3+ bleed into her right ventricle (IVH grade3+). It took me a couple of weeks to come to terms with this diagnosis, because the prognosis was and still is so uncertain. Thankfully in the following ultrasounds there was no further bleeds and no drainage problems in the ventricles which would require surgery.
We were really lucky as the unit we were in really encouraged kangerooing with the babies, we were able to start with Ciara on the third or fourth day. With Enya we had to wait about a week before we were allowed to begin (isn't it dreadful that I don't know when we got to hold them for the first time- in my defence I was still in shock at what had happened). As long as the girls had a bit of a break we were even encouraged to cuddle twice a day with them.
For the next week everything seemed to be going well with them both and we hoped that the worst was over and then the s#!t really hit the fan. After a good morning where I had kangeroo'd with Ciara for 3 hours, we came back on the Friday afternoon to be told kangerooing had been cancelled due to the suspicion that both had NEC (necrotising enterocolitis-the intestine begins to die due to an inflammation/lack of blood supply). We had been told earlier in the week that both had PDA (patent ductus arteriosus) and that the medication to treat this would begin in the next days- with the NEC this had to becancelled, instead all food had to be stopped and anti.biotics started.
Ciara got over this very quickly- her food was restarted within a couple of days but Enya spent the next week on and off her food as she battled with a bloated tummy and difficulty digesting even the 6 grams a day they were putting down her nasogastric tube.
By the next weekend(29/08) they were both started on the ibu.prufen to close the PDA and then came the next blow- Enya landed up being reintubated and ventilated due to difficulty maintaining her O2 levels (sats). During this time I repeatedly saw her sats dropping below 40%- the lowest I saw them fall was 0%-she had to be manually bagged to open her lungs up and raise the sats! She was also constantly fighting the ventilator and pressing against it so they had to keep changing the settings to find one she would tolerate. The next blow was quick to follow, her PDA was almost closed but they couldn't continue treating it as she developed an infection from her central line. Then she was diagnosed wit BPD (broncho pulmonary dysplasia- this we had been expecting as most micro preemies develop this). To finish it up we were told both girls were thought to be fitting and had been started on L.uminal (phenobarb.) Around this time (beginning of September ) both girls had their first blood transfusion followed, a week later, by a second transfusion for Enya. By 04/09 Ciara's PDA had closed but Enya's was back, larger than ever, and as she was now too old for the medication to close it, she was going to have to be operated on. Thankfully the PDA was not having a large effect on her perfusion (surprisingly due to the size of it) so we could wait until she got bigger-at this stage she weighed about 750g. Yup the beginning of September was really tough!!!
Things began looking up again in the middle of the month when Ciara started getting weaned off her CPAP. She was changed onto CPAP via a mask at night and allowed to spend the day on supplementary O2. At the same time Enya was extubated and although it initially looked very doozy, within a week they started her on the CPAP via a mask with short periods just on extra O2.
By the 25/09 Ciara was no longer on CPAP and Enya joined her on the 02/10 on just supplementary O2. Around this time they also started weaning them both off the L.uminal. We were no longer the problem kids on the unit and were even given to the student nurses to bathe and feed!! Apropro feeding, Ciara drank her first milk from a teat on the 13/09, Enya on the 04/10 although both had been practising on fennel tea lollies during gavage feeding almost from the first feed.
On the 12/10 the girls had their first ride in an ambulance as they were transferred to the local childrens hospital (we were too good for the NICU, our places were needed by triplets that were awaited).
to be continued....
On the third day we got faced with a good news ,bad news situation. Good news: Enya was no longer being ventilated, she'd progressed onto CPAP. Bad news: she had been unstable overnight with high blood sugars needing insulin and variable blood pressure, due to this they had done a head ultrasound and she'd had a grade 3+ bleed into her right ventricle (IVH grade3+). It took me a couple of weeks to come to terms with this diagnosis, because the prognosis was and still is so uncertain. Thankfully in the following ultrasounds there was no further bleeds and no drainage problems in the ventricles which would require surgery.
We were really lucky as the unit we were in really encouraged kangerooing with the babies, we were able to start with Ciara on the third or fourth day. With Enya we had to wait about a week before we were allowed to begin (isn't it dreadful that I don't know when we got to hold them for the first time- in my defence I was still in shock at what had happened). As long as the girls had a bit of a break we were even encouraged to cuddle twice a day with them.
For the next week everything seemed to be going well with them both and we hoped that the worst was over and then the s#!t really hit the fan. After a good morning where I had kangeroo'd with Ciara for 3 hours, we came back on the Friday afternoon to be told kangerooing had been cancelled due to the suspicion that both had NEC (necrotising enterocolitis-the intestine begins to die due to an inflammation/lack of blood supply). We had been told earlier in the week that both had PDA (patent ductus arteriosus) and that the medication to treat this would begin in the next days- with the NEC this had to becancelled, instead all food had to be stopped and anti.biotics started.
Ciara got over this very quickly- her food was restarted within a couple of days but Enya spent the next week on and off her food as she battled with a bloated tummy and difficulty digesting even the 6 grams a day they were putting down her nasogastric tube.
By the next weekend(29/08) they were both started on the ibu.prufen to close the PDA and then came the next blow- Enya landed up being reintubated and ventilated due to difficulty maintaining her O2 levels (sats). During this time I repeatedly saw her sats dropping below 40%- the lowest I saw them fall was 0%-she had to be manually bagged to open her lungs up and raise the sats! She was also constantly fighting the ventilator and pressing against it so they had to keep changing the settings to find one she would tolerate. The next blow was quick to follow, her PDA was almost closed but they couldn't continue treating it as she developed an infection from her central line. Then she was diagnosed wit BPD (broncho pulmonary dysplasia- this we had been expecting as most micro preemies develop this). To finish it up we were told both girls were thought to be fitting and had been started on L.uminal (phenobarb.) Around this time (beginning of September ) both girls had their first blood transfusion followed, a week later, by a second transfusion for Enya. By 04/09 Ciara's PDA had closed but Enya's was back, larger than ever, and as she was now too old for the medication to close it, she was going to have to be operated on. Thankfully the PDA was not having a large effect on her perfusion (surprisingly due to the size of it) so we could wait until she got bigger-at this stage she weighed about 750g. Yup the beginning of September was really tough!!!
Things began looking up again in the middle of the month when Ciara started getting weaned off her CPAP. She was changed onto CPAP via a mask at night and allowed to spend the day on supplementary O2. At the same time Enya was extubated and although it initially looked very doozy, within a week they started her on the CPAP via a mask with short periods just on extra O2.
By the 25/09 Ciara was no longer on CPAP and Enya joined her on the 02/10 on just supplementary O2. Around this time they also started weaning them both off the L.uminal. We were no longer the problem kids on the unit and were even given to the student nurses to bathe and feed!! Apropro feeding, Ciara drank her first milk from a teat on the 13/09, Enya on the 04/10 although both had been practising on fennel tea lollies during gavage feeding almost from the first feed.
On the 12/10 the girls had their first ride in an ambulance as they were transferred to the local childrens hospital (we were too good for the NICU, our places were needed by triplets that were awaited).
to be continued....
3 Feb 2008
History 101..part two
So suddenly bleeding again, at 24 weeks and 5 days-resulting in a midnight visit to the hospital. This time I landed up being admitted as there was some signs that my cervix was getting shorter, although I had felt no contractions and the CTG had also shown nothing. It was a Thursday night when I was admitted and they (Dr D) planned to do the cerclage on the Monday. Dr D felt there was no danger of delivery in the near future so she wanted to wait until the results from the infection screening were back. Thank goodness they gave me the steroid shots to "ripen the lungs" then though.
We got to 4am Sunday morning when they landed up doing an emergency cerclage as the lower sac membrane was starting to enter the cervical passage and my cervix was funneling. That was fun, NOT!! Don't recommend the tocolytics though, as I had an extreme case of the shakes on them- the racing heart rate was liveable but I was literally shaking my whole bed!
The next 3 days were spent on tocolytics (got to try 2 because of the extreme reaction to the first). On the Tuesday afternoon I was taken off the meds (only supposed to stay on the second medication for 48 hours) and within 3 hours I was in labour, so first medication restarted and for the first time we got to speak to one of the neonatologists in the hospital. He was good but also believed in giving us the blunt facts: 60% survival rate with a high rate of disability, would need breathing assistance and every day we could hold on would be a bonus.
After this talk we decided to delay the CS until the next morning if possible and see if things didn't settle again. That night I had very heavy bleeding and contractions continued unabated so
the next morning (Wedensday) I was first on the operation table. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your viewpoint) I had to be knocked out for the surgery as the spinal block didn't work. In retrospect I'm very glad I wasn't awake and that my husband, Mr Z, wasn't allowed to stay, as later we heard that Enya had been touch and go after delivery.
Ciara was delivered first and did really well- she even managed a cry, but Enya's placenta had been detaching and it looked as though the membranes had also ruptured i.e. no fluid around her and she was covered in congealed blood. They had to pump her stomach to get rid of all the blood she had swallowed. The scary thing was I had been monitored the whole night and there had been no signs that she was in any distress.
I don't remember much of that day except Mr Z coming to show me photos of the girls and to say that Enya was struggling and had been put on NO gas to try open her lungs up as she was not saturating well on 100% oxygen, despite 2x surfactant doses. That did the trick and after 6-8 hours on this treatment they were able to put her back on to normal oxygen and she maintained her sats (she was on high frequency oscilation ventilation at this time).
I saw them for the first time the next day- tiny wrinkled red beings with dark fluff (lanugo) over their bodies and their eyes still sealed shut. Ciara was by this time already on CPAP, Enya was still being ventilated but with a less aggressive mode of ventilation. Love at first sight it was not, I think I was still in shock at what had happened. That being said, we were encouraged to touch them-gently cupping our hands around their heads to encourage bonding. I look at photos of the first few days and can't believe these are the same babes we brought home.
to be continued.....
We got to 4am Sunday morning when they landed up doing an emergency cerclage as the lower sac membrane was starting to enter the cervical passage and my cervix was funneling. That was fun, NOT!! Don't recommend the tocolytics though, as I had an extreme case of the shakes on them- the racing heart rate was liveable but I was literally shaking my whole bed!
The next 3 days were spent on tocolytics (got to try 2 because of the extreme reaction to the first). On the Tuesday afternoon I was taken off the meds (only supposed to stay on the second medication for 48 hours) and within 3 hours I was in labour, so first medication restarted and for the first time we got to speak to one of the neonatologists in the hospital. He was good but also believed in giving us the blunt facts: 60% survival rate with a high rate of disability, would need breathing assistance and every day we could hold on would be a bonus.
After this talk we decided to delay the CS until the next morning if possible and see if things didn't settle again. That night I had very heavy bleeding and contractions continued unabated so
the next morning (Wedensday) I was first on the operation table. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your viewpoint) I had to be knocked out for the surgery as the spinal block didn't work. In retrospect I'm very glad I wasn't awake and that my husband, Mr Z, wasn't allowed to stay, as later we heard that Enya had been touch and go after delivery.
Ciara was delivered first and did really well- she even managed a cry, but Enya's placenta had been detaching and it looked as though the membranes had also ruptured i.e. no fluid around her and she was covered in congealed blood. They had to pump her stomach to get rid of all the blood she had swallowed. The scary thing was I had been monitored the whole night and there had been no signs that she was in any distress.
I don't remember much of that day except Mr Z coming to show me photos of the girls and to say that Enya was struggling and had been put on NO gas to try open her lungs up as she was not saturating well on 100% oxygen, despite 2x surfactant doses. That did the trick and after 6-8 hours on this treatment they were able to put her back on to normal oxygen and she maintained her sats (she was on high frequency oscilation ventilation at this time).
I saw them for the first time the next day- tiny wrinkled red beings with dark fluff (lanugo) over their bodies and their eyes still sealed shut. Ciara was by this time already on CPAP, Enya was still being ventilated but with a less aggressive mode of ventilation. Love at first sight it was not, I think I was still in shock at what had happened. That being said, we were encouraged to touch them-gently cupping our hands around their heads to encourage bonding. I look at photos of the first few days and can't believe these are the same babes we brought home.
to be continued.....
1 Feb 2008
History 101..part one
Having been kept sane by the blogs I've been reading this past year I finally decided to "put pen to paper" and start my own. I'm Nix, 32 no wait 33 years old (but feel 16) and proud mom to 2 beautiful micro premmie daughters born in August last year.
Introducing my beauties Ciara and Enya.
We'd been TTC for 3 years when it finally worked with injectibles and an IUI (our 3rd attempt). I can still remember the phone call to my doctor's practice where I found out that it was positive and the feeling of utter disbelief. My doctor told me straight off the HCG numbers were very good and the follow up numbers a week later were "climbing like champions".
The next week I was visiting my folks in England when I started to get really bad cramps and spotting, so off to A&E. That's where we were told it was twins.. no, hang on, could be triplets!!! (This was at 6 weeks)
At 7 weeks I landed up at the doctors again due to period like bleeding (heavy period!).This time they saw 2 heartbeats and were able to say definitely "only" twins. I was then told 2 weeks sick leave and if the bleeding stopped I was allowed to go back to work- got to love Germany's medical /social system. My next doctors appointment (8 weeks) I was told there was only one heartbeat and the second sac was just fibrous tissue ie. the embryo had died. Needless to say, tears ensued as I tried to work out what I'd done wrong. 2 weeks later at the next US- Baby 2 was back and I changed doctors.
First thing my new doctor (Dr H.) did was give me a work ban for the rest of the pregnancy (at 12 weeks!)- really got to love Germanys social system- to protect the baby doctors can give the mother a work ban for her pregnancy, she still draws her full wage paid for by the government. He also put me on modified bed rest as I work as a physio in a busy little hospital (lots of lifting!!!!) and had placenta previa and have an incompetent cervix. I guess he thought it was the only way to slow me down. Bed rest=absolute boredom, this is when I discovered blogs in general and IF/Pregnancy blogs in particular.
So fast forward to 24 weeks and 5 days, I suddenly started bleeding again.......to be continued.
got to go the girls are stirring
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