A year ago today continuation continued.....

After suffering 48 hours of unrelenting heat with the stupid AE stockings on(our hospitals have no air conditioning and it was a stinking hot August) and not been allowed out of bed or to wash my hair, I finished the last bottle of the super duper expense tocolytic med on the Tuesday midday. At about 2pm I noticed a slight pulling in my abdomen and after it happened for the third time in less than 20 minutes I called a nurse and told her. Hey ho next thing I knew I was being wheeled for the umpteenth time down the corridor to the labour unit to be hooked up to the monitors. This time I stayed on the unit. By the time Z came from work at 5pm I was back on the terbutaline and having full on contractions. By 6pm the neonatologist had been in to see us, 60% chance of survival with high risk of disability/brain damage, as had the anaesthetist to prep for an emergency c-section.

The consultant obstetrician who I liked and trusted was not in, instead the chief of Gynaecology was on call and would have done the c-section that night. After discussing it with him and between ourselves we decided to wait until morning as
a) then the doctor we liked and trusted doing the operation
b) perhaps the drugs would kick in and the labour could be stopped
c) the girls were monitored and according to the monitors were stable (most important) we wanted to give them as much time in situ as possible.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, it was a horrendous night as I bled heavily the whole night, the contractions were unrelenting (I know it was probably only a taste of what real childbirth is like, but believe me it was enough!) and if we'd let him operate on the Tuesday night Enya may have had an easier start. On the other hand they had warning that there were micropreemie twins on the list for the next morning which meant they could prepare and get two experienced neonatologists there for the delivery.

In any even this was the worst night of my life and lead to a period of my life that, looking back, I don't know how I got through it. It changed me and still is changing me. I don't think anyone can understand what it is like to live through NICU with a micropreemie/critically ill baby unless they have been there. I would not wish it on my worst enemy, no one should have to live through that. Even writing about it has got my heart racing and my fingers trembling.

Enough of the past now, looking forward. The birthday cake is baked, the decorations are hung, now we just have to hope for good weather so we can enjoy the party outside. We're supposed to be having a BBQ and the forecast is not good!