Perspectives

The news right now is full of a trial happening right now in my city. A woman is being tried for the murder of 3 of her daughters. She managed to hide the pregnancies and after giving birth, killed them and hid their bodies in the freezer. She was only found out when her 18 year old son went looking for a frozen pizza in the freezer and instead found the frozen remains. The first little girl was killed in 1986 and the last in 2004. We've had a spate of such sick things in the news in the last few years but this time it happened in our neck of the woods! The news reports state by the last pregnancy this woman had alcohol problems but she does have 2-3 other kids that did live through the perinatal period. I have to wonder what would drive a woman and mother to do such a dreadful thing, not once but 3 times!!

Another bit of news is my ex-sister in law is pregnant again. She had a baby a couple of months before C and E arrived with her new fellow and is now apparently expecting their 2nd child together. She had 3 kids with my brother in law and is generally described as a dreadful mother. The kids used to do all the housework (cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing) while she sat in front of the TV vegetating. Her oldest child (20 years old) refuses to have anything to do with her and while the younger two do live with her they are not happy. The only reason the youngest is still living with her is she told him if he goes back to his dad not to bother coming back to visit!

I think about how hard it was for me to get pregnant and how I tried to be so careful during my pregnancy and despite this it was cut short and yet some other people who are "fertile Myrtles" with trouble free pregnancies don't appreciate their good fortune. I suppose that might be the difference, for them it isn't good fortune, it is their normality. My normality means pregnancy is an unattainable goal without doctors, drugs and loads of visits to the fertility clinic, followed 6 months later by a 4 month hospital stay for the babies. For them it is just the result of a good night in bed at the right (wrong) time, followed 9 months later by a healthy baby. I guess for those who have struggled in someway to get/stay pregnant, pregnancy gains an extra lustre and the baby at the end is that little bit more precious. Please note I'm not saying that we(infertile Myrtles) are better mothers, just that we know this baby probably wouldn't be here without lots of help from modern science and the chances of another child are poor without the same help again.

Any how I think I'm going to go hug my precious little bundles now as they are waking up from their morning nap.